As National Grief Awareness Day approaches on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., whose book 'Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck' has been recognized as a top book on grief, explains why some people remain stuck in grief long after a loss. According to Dr. Swack, unresolved trauma can keep individuals trapped in a cycle of pain, making it difficult to access joyful memories of the person they lost. Instead, every reminder of their loved one can automatically trigger the pain of the moment they died or left.
Dr. Swack, a biochemist and immunologist, notes that during a traumatic loss, the body's fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything that happened at that time. This conditioning causes people to repeatedly relive the shock of what happened, preventing the natural grieving process from progressing. Healing begins by calming this trauma response, so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present.
To help individuals take the first steps toward healing, Dr. Swack shares five key strategies. First, she advises separating the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving people fear that letting go of the trauma will sever their connection to the deceased. Dr. Swack asserts the opposite is true: trauma can become fused with the memory of a loved one, causing every remembrance to trigger pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without losing the relationship.
Second, she encourages identifying the 'hidden layers' beneath grief. Grief rarely consists of sadness alone; according to Dr. Swack's research, loss trauma often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and feelings of helplessness. Recognizing these layers is crucial for comprehensive healing.
Third, she highlights the importance of listening for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss often leaves unconscious conclusions such as 'It's my fault,' 'People always leave me,' 'I can't trust anyone,' 'Who will take care of me?' or 'I'm powerless.' These beliefs can impact relationships, work, and self-confidence long after the loss, but awareness of them is an essential step toward healing.
Fourth, Dr. Swack points to the feeling of emptiness as a hallmark of unresolved loss trauma. Many people experience a deep sense of emptiness or a 'hole' in the chest or stomach, which they often try to fill through work, food, relationships, or other compulsive behaviors. Recognizing that this emptiness is part of the trauma response can help individuals seek healthier ways to heal.
Finally, she emphasizes that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or 'moving on.' One of the biggest barriers to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. Resolving the trauma surrounding a loss does not erase the relationship; instead, it allows people to stop reliving the worst moment of their lives and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before the loss.
'Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person,' Dr. Swack says.
'Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck' was recently named the 2026 Silver Medal Winner for Grief Books by the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR). The book details healing practices Dr. Swack pioneered as part of her Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™) methodology, a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels.
Dr. Swack will present a 'Clear Trauma Now Live Healing' webinar on Thursday evenings in September, offering an opportunity to experience trauma healing in real time. For more details, visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience.
